What about interpersonal conflict?

Opposing perceptions is one of the most important contributing factors to conflicts arising in interpersonal relationships. Learning to manage and resolve conflicts can aid in maintaining good relationships. A good trick in preventing conflicts is to amplify the act of understanding. However, it is easier said than done. Most people often deal with issues according to their own values and thoughts. Such behaviors lack sensitivity towards others' feeling. Therefore, it is always good to keep an open mind to prevent conflicts from arising.

A conflict that remained unsolved till now is my mother’s experience in her workplace. My mother and her colleagues have been in the same team for few years. Things started to become more complicated when she has recently been promoted to the team supervisor.

Typically, whenever another team transferred work to my mother’s team, her colleagues would pass the work to her despite knowing how to handle these procedures. Sometimes, they even commented that my mother should be doing more work since she receives a higher pay as compared to them. However, they failed to understand that being a supervisor has much more additional responsibilities on top of her usual workload. In addition, certain procedures require supervisor’s access which cannot be done by the team members.

Besides, her colleagues compare their workload with one another and express unhappiness frequently whenever there are slight differences. They even compared and commented on different teams’ supervisors.

These have added much stress to my mother’s job. She often complained that the increase in stress is not compensated by the increment in salary of less than two hundred dollars. Occasionally, she even has to skip lunch breaks to cope with the overloading of work. Most importantly, these conflicts at work have strained her relationships with her colleagues. She does not know how to cope with the comments and actions of her colleagues.

I told my mom that everyone has their own strengths, and a team should therefore work hand in hand in completing the overall workload of the team. I even encouraged her that she should be more confident with her own distribution of work and not get affected by the responses from her colleagues. However, the situation has not improved significantly; I do hope that there are additional solutions to these clashes at work. =)

Effective Communication for Me

Effective communication is part and parcel of life. In one of the Taiwan variety shows, I came across some interesting experiences of lone backpackers. Due to language barrier, they were not able to engage in meaningful conversations, resulting in inadequate communication. They mentioned that communicating via any possible channels with family and friends is a daily necessity. Not exchanging any ideas with anyone for one single day makes them feel uneasy and bottled up. These illustrated the simple yet significant role of interacting effectively.

In actual fact, I am someone who is very insecure about communicating. One of the many reasons responsible for this is the lack of self-confidence. In addition, I have a weak command of language, especially English. As a science student, I always admire those who are able to speak with charisma and confidence with ease. Therefore, I am determined to brush up my communications skills after taking up this module. From my first two lessons of ES2007S, I learned something very applicable to my way of communicating: effective two-way communication. Communication is not solely about articulating clearly and expressing efficiently; it is also about active listening. In my opinion, this is actually the essence of connecting with people.

I realize that I often do not listen to others with a clear mind. Usually, I start to compose paragraphs of random thoughts or counter arguments in my head while listening. This is not being an active listener. Therefore, I tend to misunderstand what others meant and vice versa. During my Undergraduate Research Opportunities Programme in Science (UROPS) in my previous semester, I frequently felt demoralized due to the breakdown in communications between me and my mentors. As this is my first time researching in a laboratory (not mentioning the guided practical sessions in school), I am not well equipped with the skills and knowledge required. However, my mentors assumed that the knowledge that they possess is not new to me at all. Having different levels of understandings on the topics discussed, this repeatedly leads them into thinking that I am ignorant. As a result, I am more tensed up while conversing with them. Thus, I could not get sufficient cues that make me sense that they are listening to me. Also, due to the lack of assurance, I habitually use ambiguous words like “maybe”, “I think” and “could be”. Broken English further worsens the situation. As a result, they often misunderstand my messages causing me to feel uncomfortable with them. Interpersonal relationships are built on communicating effectively. I am someone who feels the need to connect with people around me and therefore effective communication is very vital to me.

Being a fourth year student in university, I am feeling rather unclear about the directions of my career upon graduation. I want to have a job that is able to help people in one way or another. One of the possible routes would be to still embark on a journey of research in life science. Another route would be to become a teacher. One other possible option would be a speech therapist. The thing that I fear most for all these jobs is the need for presentations in some course of the career. I am afraid that people would not listen to me. When I told my elder sister casually about my wish of being a speech therapist, she was quite shocked. This actually makes me feel quite disappointed with myself. I could not speak well myself, how could I help others to speak well? But, it is precisely that I understand how they feel that I want to help them. Hence, effective communication is more than relevant to me. I must learn how to present my thoughts more clearly, more well-constructed and at the very least, understandable by others.

To be a better person, I have to gain more self-confidence especially in the area of effective communication. This would definitely make me feel more satisfied and happy in life. =)

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