Opposing perceptions is one of the most important contributing factors to conflicts arising in interpersonal relationships. Learning to manage and resolve conflicts can aid in maintaining good relationships. A good trick in preventing conflicts is to amplify the act of understanding. However, it is easier said than done. Most people often deal with issues according to their own values and thoughts. Such behaviors lack sensitivity towards others' feeling. Therefore, it is always good to keep an open mind to prevent conflicts from arising.
A conflict that remained unsolved till now is my mother’s experience in her workplace. My mother and her colleagues have been in the same team for few years. Things started to become more complicated when she has recently been promoted to the team supervisor.
Typically, whenever another team transferred work to my mother’s team, her colleagues would pass the work to her despite knowing how to handle these procedures. Sometimes, they even commented that my mother should be doing more work since she receives a higher pay as compared to them. However, they failed to understand that being a supervisor has much more additional responsibilities on top of her usual workload. In addition, certain procedures require supervisor’s access which cannot be done by the team members.
Besides, her colleagues compare their workload with one another and express unhappiness frequently whenever there are slight differences. They even compared and commented on different teams’ supervisors.
These have added much stress to my mother’s job. She often complained that the increase in stress is not compensated by the increment in salary of less than two hundred dollars. Occasionally, she even has to skip lunch breaks to cope with the overloading of work. Most importantly, these conflicts at work have strained her relationships with her colleagues. She does not know how to cope with the comments and actions of her colleagues.
I told my mom that everyone has their own strengths, and a team should therefore work hand in hand in completing the overall workload of the team. I even encouraged her that she should be more confident with her own distribution of work and not get affected by the responses from her colleagues. However, the situation has not improved significantly; I do hope that there are additional solutions to these clashes at work. =)
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Dear Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that your mother faces so much unhappiness in her work. A promotion is supposed to be a happy thing but it has not been the case for her.
Firstly, I am glad that you mother did not use her authority to command her colleagues to do work. This would further strain the relationship she has with her colleagues. She seems to be a very patient, good-tempered lady. =). However, I do feel that this situation should not be left ignored as this would not be fair to your mother. I suggest that she seeks a talk with her colleagues to explain her additonal responsibilities and workload. Through the talk, your mother may also like to highlight the importance of responsibity and team work. People shouldn't push work to one another. Instead, they should distribute work appropriately.
Finally, receiving more pay is not an excuse for her colleagues to push their work to her. They should try to be more co-operative at work.
Do give your mother lots of encouragement to tide over her problems at work! =).
Hazel
Hi Rebecca!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that your mother has a supportive daughter like you. Your advices and encouragement definitely mean a lot to her.
I agree with Hazel that your mum should seek a talk with her colleagues. A healthy communication at workplace is essential for smooth functioning of any organization. I suggest that you mother can try to address the difficulties she faced to her colleagues. By doing so, they can have a better understanding of her job scope and hopefully they will change their attitudes toward your mother. In addition, they should also recognize the importance of working as a team and maintaining positive relationships at work.
Lastly, tell your mother that she shouldn’t skip her lunch no matter how busy she is. It’s no good for her health! I really hope her problems can be resolve soon.
Peiling
Thank you, Rebecca, for this well described scenario. I appreciate your sharing a problem so "close to home," and I feel you do a good job of giving the conflict a clear context. I also really like the way you introduce the subject in your intro paragraph.
ReplyDeleteMy only criticism is that there are a few problems where language is an issue. For example you write:
Though, it is easier said than done, most people look at issues in their preferred manner and act according to their values and thoughts.
Do you see the problems here?
In any case, thank you for making this thought-provoking post.
To Hazel and Peiling: Thanks so much for the good advise! =)
ReplyDeleteTo Brad: Thanks for the comment! =)
Should it be phrase: Though, it is easier said than done. Most people look at issues in their preferred manners and thus act according to their values and thoughts.
Hello Rebecca,
ReplyDeleteI can fully empathise with your mother. It seems like she has been made a victim of workplace bully by her jealous colleagues. This would result in a very unhealthy working relationship with her colleagues. As we have learnt, every relationship is like a pulley; both sides must learn to compromise. If your mom continues in accepting all the work that her colleagues give her, it would keep adding stress to the pulley system, and ultimately something would snap. Hence, I suggest that your mom must not be afraid to say no to her colleagues. As their supervisor, she has the authority to do so. It is important that she remains firm but fair in all her dealings so that her colleagues will treat her with respect and not a pushover. I hope that your mom resolves her workplace conflicts soon and mends the strained relationships!
Cheers
Russsell
Hi Rebecca!
ReplyDeleteConflicts at work are very common these days. In your mother's case, it is probably due to jealousy from her colleagues. One other reason could be that your mother had given the wrong impression to her colleagues after her promotion.
I agree that a higher salary will mean heavier responsibility and workload. It will also require her to be sensitive in handling her work relations with her colleagues, otherwise conflicts like those you mentioned will arise. It will be better if she can explain the reason for the unequal distribution of workload, instead of leaving her colleagues to speculate. This is because speculation will usually lead to misunderstandings. Perhaps your mother can also make use of what we learnt in class - "The Ladder", where she can ease and overcome her frustrations by using humor. Humor can also relieve stress and most importantly, build relationships.
Like what Russell had mentioned, 'every relationship is like a pulley'. Hence, it is not a long-term solution to keep accepting the work from her colleagues. She is afterall the supervisor. I believe given enough time, your mother will definitely earn her well-deserved respect from her colleagues and hence, rebuild their relationships with one another.
Regards,
Kesleen
To Brad: I think this would be a clearer paragraph to replace the earlier version. "A good trick in preventing conflicts is to amplify the act of understanding. However, it is easier said than done. Most people often deal with issues according to their own values and thoughts. Such behaviors lack sensitivity towards others' feeling. Therefore, it is always good to keep an open mind to prevent conflicts from arising."
ReplyDeleteThanks! =)
To Kesleen and Russell: Thanks for the advise! Would tell my mother the suggestions. =)